We eventually knew we were unlikely to have our own birth children. That came with its own difficulties. There was the experience of grieving for a child we’d never know. That gave rise to some profound dreams (nightmares?) for me. We were determined not to have a sense of blame or guilt as a couple which has stood us in good stead over time.
There are other options and adoption soon rose to the surface. We explored through various agencies and support organisations how we might proceed. Our families were again supportive as were friends we told what we were doing. At times there were conversations that were not so sensitive when people asked if we were expecting a baby, or what we were doing about starting a family.
Deciding to proceed to become adoptive parents involved much assessment of ourselves as individuals and a couple. And family members were also interviewed too. There were group meetings with other potential adopters that helped us refine what we could do. During this time we also became aware of how common being adopted and adopters was. Eventually we were deemed to be the right stuff so to speak. Then began the wait.
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