Doing things badly can be a good thing?

I have had an interesting week; work has been busy with the team doing good things for patients and each other. All very supportive and a joy that they can be trusted to get on with things.

I’ve had two task this week that needed delivering. One was a business case and the other an opportunity to deliver a 6 minute talk as part of a conference day on human rights in end of Life Care.

The business case would seem straightforward however getting the style right for the (NHS) organisation can be a challenge. Fortunately my boss has plenty of experience in our place of work and whilst I started it not very well I’ve submitted what’s been agreed is a much better version. Anxiety about how it might look and be received is lessened; taking the first step is the worst bit for me.

And that, I’ve just realised, is why blog writing regularly hasn’t been easy either.

So I was interested in reading the article by Olivia Remes that points to the science behind beating anxiety, and why doing something badly is a good idea.

This struck a chord with me; getting started is an act that I can successfully sabotage by myself. So reaching a finishing point (sending the business case for consultation, or posting a blog piece) becomes a cause for internal celebration.

The second task has been longer in development as I’d been invited to contribute to a quick fire afternoon session at the Sue Ryder hosted “Human Rights in End of Life Care” on 27th June. A 6 minute slot was mine, along with three others who are trainers like me. The slides were easy, the content came pretty easily too. It was the prospect of delivery that became a matter of anxiety. There was some rehearsal and having the slides safely loaded in advance were helpful strategies.

The night before was not good in terms of sleep and all that could have gone wrong in terms of travel added an extra layer of worry.

On the day the trip was fine and the venue was easy to find and had a nice auditorium. Even so there were nerves; I’m conscious that a poor presentation does no one any favours. As it happened my little contribution was kindly recorded on my iPad by another speaker. I can see I “immediately” a lot to begin with, and then had some trouble with the slides. I did get a hoped for laugh or two, as well as some serious points made. I could have done better (I believe) though I was told I’d done well.

Olivia is helpful in that she points out that doing something badly (or at least not very well) is a way to combat anxiety. So I’m reminded to be kind to myself; to trust the praise of others and to ignore the internal doubts that will lead to further anxiety.

And maybe there’ll be an increase in the frequency of my blogging?